We’re expecting in May. Yep, it was an accident. DH still has 4 years of school left so that will be interesting to try to finish with scholarships, grants, and cash. DH had this idea that he was getting old and I wanted him to get more schooling done, but that doesn’t matter anymore.
And we’re under a bit of stress. I will try to make a long story short.
My DB had to short sale his condo that he had no business buying due to his princess wife saying they had to have a house because all their friends have houses (At market highs). My mom was “helping” them by renting it to help cover part of their mortgage until the market got better. (It hasn’t)
Needless to say they offered to have her move in with them in their other home that they also should not have bought until they sold their condo. She respectfully said no because they offered two weeks after she made arrangements with me and DH, they would want to turn her into a 24/7 nanny, and they would never fix anything in their condo. They thought that she should fix things since she was using them. That’s not how renting works.
I saw all of this coming down the pipe a year ago. In fact I told Dear mom it was a bad idea to move in to begin with two years ago.
In addition my DSIL had this idea of not telling my mom at first and thinking it was okay to force her out within two days thinking that their condo would sell really fast. (Ha, ha, ha.) I laughed hysterically at that when I heard it. It’s a strained relationship to say the least between them and my mom and between myself and DB/DSIL.
She is currently trying to get a medical coding certification so she can afford to rent her own place with a higher paying job. She hasn’t been making enough to pay her own rent for at least 8 years now, but thankfully she was able to pay cash for her training program at the local community college.
So we arranged to help by having my mom move in temporarily because I just can’t have my mother living out of her car or at my abusive brother’s house. That was before the above baby news happened.
So far she is taking her certification test for the 3rd time at $300 a try. (Ouch!) 70% of people fail the test the first time and you need a 70% to pass. She missed it by 6 questions last time. We’re praying she can pass it this coming Saturday so she can start to look for a job that pays more so she can afford to live on her own.
Anyway we are going to run out of space real soon and dear mother needs to move out.
The take home lesson of today is that sometimes helping family is enabling them and I hope my mother stops because I get tired of coming her rescue and won’t be able to anymore and I feel it’s a forced way of helping my siblings when it would be better to let them fail. My DH agrees that we just need to let my mom fail so she will stop helping my irresponsible older siblings. That’s probably wishful thinking as well. She won’t tell them no and when she does, they badger her. Dysfunctional drama as usual.
We’re trying to stop the misbehavior but it’s really hard by example and we can’t make them stop.
Anyway, back to the more exciting news, suggestions on how to save on buying baby stuff is welcomed! I’m pretty sure 60% of what I’ve seen so far isn’t necessary.